I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
