sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
