Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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