This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
