Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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