No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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