I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
