Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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