YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
