Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Boobs speak an international language.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
