bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
