If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize