he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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