How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
