I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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