Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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