Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
