Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
How external is "for external use only"?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
