Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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