I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
