this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
