your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
