We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
