Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
