so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
