Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
