Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
