Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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