I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I puked a lego.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize