i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
