My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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