After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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