I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just found puke in my bra..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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