your thong is hanging out like whoa
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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