and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
