In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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