I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize