Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
