thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
