I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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