Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
