i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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