Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I know her cup size but not her name....
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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