This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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