Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
