she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize