When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Randomize
