no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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