If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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