Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
