my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize