hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
