thus making me awesome and them whores
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
