OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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