Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
