Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
