and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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