I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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