doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
