North Korea, Best Korea!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
