Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
