.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
