Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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