why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
