eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Randomize