I feel great
I just peed on a car
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
