I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
false alarm, still single
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
