he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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