At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
